:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
