her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize