return my video game
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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