He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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