Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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