Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize
