Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
