yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I have tasted many bathrooms
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
