Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
