that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i will never coherently bang her
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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