This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
