i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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