you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
