Dual....:-)
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Randomize
