...so i touched it.
You can't special order awesome
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
