How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
