when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
