I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
