So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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