Is it normal to miss your booty call?
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
