There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
