It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
