shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
You've changed since you got that strap on
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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