youre lurking in front of me
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
