i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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