youre lurking in front of me
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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