I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I intend to get homeless drunk
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
