I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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