I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
