The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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