Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
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