i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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