ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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