Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
