you guys were way drunker than both of me
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
