It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
