if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
