she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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