waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
