so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
