You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
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