Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
