I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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