white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize