forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
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