You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
