Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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