hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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