real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
