I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize