His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Randomize
