I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
