Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
