he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
