Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
