why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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