I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
