i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
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