8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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