Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
