The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
