Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
