Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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