hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
