The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
