Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
