You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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