We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize