You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
