There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
