Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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