I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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